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Billion Dollar Baby


With Meta’s newly-released Threads app already rivaling Twitter’s user base, company heads Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk will settle their business dispute just as the free market intended: a physical altercation inside a cube of interlocking metal.


“I’m up for a cage match if he is lol” is somehow an actual tweet from Musk regarding Zuckerberg, and not a parody account imagining WWE superstar The Undertaker as a teenager. Not to be out-cringed, Zuck replied “Send me location.” Given that the fight might actually happen, we asked the only question there is to ask about the brawling billionaires: Who would win?


Fighting out of the red corner, “unsure” takes the title with a plurality (40%) of Americans ambivalent about who would win. One thing we can be sure about is, regardless of who wins, this clusterzuck of a fight would be embarrassing for everyone involved.