Relationships Culture Holiday

How to Lose a Guy in One Date


Last year we gave you the low-down on how to get-down with some Valentine’s Day date essentials. This year, we’re doing the opposite. If you want any hope of Cupid aiming an arrow in your direction, take note of these fatal first date flaws.


Using a conjoint analysis, we posed competing (horrendous) first dates to Americans and asked them to pick the worst one. Kinda like choosing between two internet service providers.



So what makes a bad date? Flowers and a box of chocolates won't spare the conversationally challenged. A date’s preferred topic of conversation is the single biggest determinant of what makes a bad date. So whether your Valentine is that cute barista you got the nerve to ask out or your Tinder match who you’re 50% sure is catfishing you, try to be versed on a variety of topics.


Americans don’t need Hitch to tell them that the most lethal third rail conversation topic is your ex. Talk about literally anything else. Like how Wayne Gretzky’s career point record will never be broken. To paraphrase Michael Scott the Great One, you miss 100% of the shots you take when you keep bringing up your ex. On that note, best to focus dialogue on the sports team you follow religiously rather than talking about the particulars of any religion. Looks like Gretzky even starts over Jesus on the first date!


In case you’re wondering how to lose a guy in 10 seconds, condescendingly compare your date to your ex with the help of your parents after a dinner bought and paid for by… your date. Sprinkle in some crude humor about religion for extra effect.