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Jordan Boeder2023/04/192 min read

We Are All Benjamin Button

The idiom “you're only as old as you feel” loses its charm when Uncle Jerry demands the kids' price at Chuck E. Cheese because he feels like he's 8 years old. To all you high ...
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Cory Manento2023/04/191 min read

CV = Certified (to Play the) Violin

When applying for jobs, is it really worth your time to get one of those online certificates declaring that you can type 60 WPM? To break the Fourth Screen for a moment (no, we’re ...
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Brendon Ellis2023/04/19< 1 min read

TrendSegments: Is That Still Mom’s Password?

Moochers, the embodiment of “Hey, are you done with that?” Whether you’ve done the mooching or been mooched from, you’ve likely experienced the awkwardness of sending a text ...
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Brendon Ellis2023/04/051 min read

RE: FWD: Postponing Pierre's Retirement Party

A few weeks ago, French President Emmanuel Macron sidestepped Parliament to unilaterally bump up the retirement age in France from 62 to 64, sparking protests, civil unrest, and ...
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Cory Manento2023/04/051 min read

(Doomsday) Rule #12: Bounty Paper Towels

How stocked is your pantry? No, we’re not looking to crash at your place for a few days until we get back on our feet; it’s more of a “we just binged The Last of Us, and we feel ...
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Jordan Boeder2023/04/05< 1 min read

TrendSegments: It’s 10 p.m. Do You Know Where Your Money Is?

When we approached Silicon Valley and Signature Bank to get a loan to manufacture Shoembrellas™, we were laughed at and told the idea was sure to fail. Well, well, well, guess ...
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Jordan Boeder2023/03/221 min read

Marching Into the Multiverse of Madness

With March Madness upon us, we wanted to see which Americans partake in the hysteria and which teams they believe will win the tournament. We totally did not poll Americans to ...
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Kyle Block2023/03/221 min read

Build-a-President

With the Republican presidential primaries in full swing and preceding an announcement from President Biden (as of publication), even Santa is thinking of cashing in on the ...
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Sarah Binns2023/03/221 min read

Haberdash-of-Patriotism

Last year, the Roper Center for Public Opinion Research at Cornell University (the full acronym is longer than this article) selected Gradient, along with fellow research ...
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